July and August 2020: I Want Off 2020’s Wild Ride
a brief break from the rain
Oh boy, oh boy. Apology time!
I’m sorry, old readers and new—I’ve been terrible at updating this blog for a while.
Although I tried to write about art and collective grief a while back, I struggle to find purpose in this blog these days, or really finding any purpose in putting virtual ink to virtual paper.
What do I have to say? What use is a travel blog when travel is all but dead in the water? What to do with a photography blog when you’ve been sitting at home?
Ah, but don’t let me bullshit you. I’m making excuses. I have photos to post. I have stories I could tell.
Honestly? I think I burnt myself out in March when I decided to spend my quarantine being wildly productive. I was in a better place mentally then too.
My own personal life has been kind of up and down. I’m in a constant state of emotional recovery. Family and friends’ health issues (yes, including corona. But everyone’s okay so far), conflict, goodbyes. It feels like each week, something new smacks me in the face or falls out from under me.
And what about you? I think I can safely feel not alone when I say this year has been shit for my own mental health, despite Korea not being under total lockdown (yet. Cases are rising.)
But! If you come to this blog for a distraction from the ills of the world, I do have two new ideas for posts, not including this little monthly update. So fear not; this blog is not as dead or depressing as I make it sound.
Here’s how the past two months have been, broken down:
July
This year was host to Korea’s longest and wettest rainy season in memory. For about 6 weeks starting in late June, it was raining literally every.single.day.
Look, I love a good rain. I was raised in Tornado Alley and storms put me to sleep. But it rained so much, Korea’s infrastructure could barely handle it, Busan and surrounded areas flooded, and we were all miserably waking up to a daily downpour.
Despite this, my boyfriend and I made it to Seoul one weekend, trying out Turkish cafes and vegan restaurants. We ate a little bit too much, watched our friends perform at an LGBTQ bar in Itaewon, and strolled around the Contemporary Art Museum.
This was the highlight of my month, for sure.
School continued on the same as it had the month prior. We still couldn’t use our English classroom, as shared spaces in a pandemic is a Bad Idea. We also couldn’t play any group games, but we adapted pretty easily. Schools ran at 1/2 capacity, so I saw each grade once or twice every two weeks.
Both in July and August, we’ve had lots of downtime, since classes are shortened and there’s fewer grades. We spend that time chatting in the break room, taking long walks, or just sleeping at our desks. All the deskwarming has been both a blessing and a curse—some days I’m super productive or chilling, others I’m bored out of my mind.
Another downside of all this free time is that I have lots of alone time to just sit there and overthink. My anxiety was pretty bad, so while these pictures make it look like a bright, sunny, active month, there was a lot going on behind-the-scenes.
Overall, not the worst and not the best month.
August:
The rainy season finally broke, giving me the chance to bike and skateboard again. On weekends, I started cooking a lot with my friends or my boyfriend, writing down each recipe into a little book so I don’t have to use my phone so much.
It’s funny how different my life is compared to my first year in Korea. I haven’t been to a club since…god, December? Wholesome content only here.
As cases rise in Seoul, we’re now at 1/3 school capacity and schools may close again.
English Camp this year was just a little phone camp—students would call and chat with me about a given topic for about five minutes. It was actually lovely to talk and learn more about them!
After camp was a very short summer vacation. Some of my friends went to Jeju or Busan, but I mostly stayed in Daejeon.
One day, my friend and I took a lil day trip to Andong. The next weekend, a couple of friends and I rented a car and spent two days at Daecheon beach, about two hours from Daejeon. We barbecued, made a podcast episode, listened to terrible lesbian erotica in the car, and sunbathed on the beach.
A big wave knocked me into the sand and I hurt my arm, but 10/10 would hyperextend my elbow again for another sunny beach weekend.
I also said goodbye to two close friends who are leaving Daejeon—one to another city in Korea, and one to back home in America. A lot of people I know in general are leaving, and how am I handling it? Hmm. I’m too sentimental to handle this.
Also: dyed my hair red and got a nose piercing. Lol.
I worry I’ll look back on this year and think of nothing. But when I look at these pictures, I see sooo many fun memories. Skateboarding, cooking, bike riding, day trips, exciting changes big and small.
I also remember the stuff you can’t see in these photos.
The past two months have been rough. I was supposed to be home by now, preparing to go to Spain. But I don’t know when I’ll get to go home again.
after i posted about losing my film camera, a generous and way-too-kind follower sent me an unused one of his
And I’ve had some very difficult conversations, and spent hours upon hours trying to read and think critically about topics I’ve been uneducated about for too long. It seems like my anxieties about the world are always ready to spring from my mouth. My friends and I have to stop ourselves from constantly speaking about all the things that are wrong in the world.
Bad news after bad news, global to personal. Forced compromises, which can settle like a rock in your stomach even in the best of times.
But there’s also been growth—even if growth is painful and disquieting.
I’ll leave you with a list of the things I’m grateful for this month:
Chicken wings
The generosity of strangers
Spring cleanings
Knowing when to let go
Ratatouille (the food)
Late night playground excursions
Although I have a few family members who’ve gotten the coronavirus, everyone is okay and recovering. I hope the case the same or better for you, and if it’s not, my heart goes out to you.
Please stay safe and thanks for reading.